Finding Balance, Acceptance & Respect - No, This Is Not The Karate Kid...

     I think I hit a slight nerve with my last blog post in regards to (very loosely translated), “technology is great, but there’s still something cool about the concept of easy to work on old school stuff”. I received a few replies ranging from, “don’t shun technology too quickly; it serves many positive purposes”, to “why do you insist on giving modern technology the middle finger?”

     I don’t feel for one minute that I’m “giving technology the middle finger”. While my current hot rod has EFI and a few other modern attributes, any drive-by-wire systems, sensors out the whazoo, or an on-board laptop computer are nowhere in sight. That also does not mean I’m of the opinion the latest technology does not belong on a hot rod. As far as I’m concerned, it’s your ride - do what you want to do to it. I’ve seen Hilborn injected Chrysler Hemi motors in late 20’s rat rod Fords to Corvettes from the 50’s put on a custom Alston chassis. Hell, I’ve seen Duramax diesels in mid 60’s Chevy’s for crying out loud (see pic).

     All I’m saying is, in my experience as well as in my head, I like to strike a balance between technology and old school. Technology can bring our hot rods to new levels - some of which were unheard of just 10 years ago. It also can bring more safety to your world, if that’s your bag. But for me, old school is a warm fuzzy that will never leave me. It’s not just the equipment, but also the memories that go along with it. I’m going to date myself here, but I can remember when people in my old neighborhood just outside of New York City could cruise all night in their hot rods on $4.00 worth of premium. Every car, and I mean, EVERY car could be worked on and modified easily by it’s owner. Those days are gone - period. So while technology can be cool, it comes with a price. And many times, that price is simplicity.

     I’m going to move on to other subjects here in a second, but I will close this thought out with a list of modern technology gadgets that I will never embrace;

 - Talking equipment. I shouldn’t have to talk to anything in a car just to get it to work. Give me buttons. And I don’t want the damn thing talking back to me either.

 - Back up cameras. Really people? Enroll in a drivers ed program & learn how to drive again.

 - Self parking cars. Not to be confused with parking assist. This is the end of civilization as we know it. If your car only has parking assist, see my response to back up cameras.

 - Electric doors. Yes, these features have been on minivans for the past 10 years - I still hate them. They just scream lazy. They’re also slower than death, you can’t even manually close them quickly because the electronic functions are getting confused, and they’re noisier than hell. Oh, did I mention that wonderful beep…

      I thought for a brief moment that I was going to get off the topic of the balance between modern and old school, and I guess I have, but in a way this sorta ties in it. I received an email from a guy in Ohio who shared some cool thoughts with me. He didn’t take sides with the old verses new thing, but said regardless of your liking, there are some really awesome moments to be had when you’re able to work on your hot rod. While he was unsure where I stood on this, he said he loved getting a newly built engine to fire up for the first time - especially if it was one that he rebuilt. The sounds of power, the smell of the paint and headers, the feel of the throttle snapping. It’s like bringing a mechanical thing to life - very Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein.

     On the same token, he also mentioned that even if things aren’t perfect (which they never are), trouble shooting can be awesome, especially when you figured out the exact cause of the problem. It can be a great moment. Fixing it? Well, sometimes not so cool…

     However, the other side of the coin is there’s always something you figure you can’t do yourself. The thing is, you can do it. When you overcome the can’t part, you’ll get a feeling of satisfaction that you cannot buy. Even if the process takes a while… or maybe a long while. Patience - you’ll get there.

     Lastly, I’m going to give a brief lesson in how to treat old cars to those of you who may be unaware of how to do so. I came across this thought process while looking at some old pictures of vehicles I used to own. Yes, I get it - I’m pathetic. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t stand up for them. Besides, if they could talk, they would probably tell you the same thing, only not so nicely;

 - Don’t slam the doors. I have no idea why people insist on doing this. Maybe it’s because prior to the mid 70’s, a majority of the cars were coupes or hardtops and the doors, by today’s standards, are dang heavy. That doesn’t mean you have to wind up like Tiger Woods to close them. That weight carries a lot of physical momentum. It will close just fine with a little kindness. Another myth is you have to hold the button while closing the door. That happened to a Plymouth Duster I used to own. When I was selling it, some idiot thought you had to do that. He kept ramming the door repeatedly (and harder each time) when it wouldn’t stay closed. I was lucky he didn’t break the latch stud.

 - Don’t slam the hood. Same concept. Cars didn’t have prop rods until the 80’s when manufacturers realized it could not only save weight for better fuel economy, but also cut costs. Old cars have hinges as well as latches and they get hinky after a while. And guess what? Hoods on old cars are really dang heavy. Be gentle, take your time, and use some finesse, especially if the vehicle is not yours. The car or truck will secretly thank you for not gacking the paint on a fender or creasing the pinch point of its hood because you didn’t close it right or did it too hard.

 - Don’t sit or lean on the car. This still surprises me to this day the instinct guys and gals seem to have to lean up against a car - the nicer the ride, the more likely someone will do it... and usually by people who don’t own a hot rod or muscle car... wearing 501 jeans with lots of rivets. I’m unsure if it’s some negative psychological status leveling type syndrome, but whatever the problem is, please stop doing it. 

     Until next time, peace out.
     Dave