"Man, This Sucks! Wait A Minute - What If We Do This..."

We've all been in those situations - especially with our hot rods, racing machines, or even a daily driver. And it usually occurs at the worst possible time, or when we're under a time crunch to get things finished. Sometimes the "...this really sucks" scenarios can take one of two turns - either the

"give up now, because there's no hope" road, or the "what if we try this? We have nothing to lose" path. In my humble opinion, I believe most hot rodders go down the second avenue.

This concept popped into my head this week as I sold my 38 year old retro-motorhome. I remember driving it home from Connecticut and getting about 10 miles from the owners house when the right-front brake caliper froze. I realized that reality when I first got a whiff of that burning brakes smell, and then saw the smoke coming out from the wheel. I paid for the rig a week earlier and it was an as-is private sale. My son-in-law who made the trek with me and I were unsure of the exact parts to purchase as there were multiple options of calipers still available and we wouldn't know exactly what we were dealing with until we had everything apart. Our solution was to compress the caliper back into place, then use a pair of vise-grips to clamp the brake hose as tight as possible without damaging it or having it leak, and drive the 25 foot behemoth 250+ miles back to Maine. Simple but effective!

The same can be said throughout the history of high-performance and racing. There are countless simple-but-effective stories out there, but here's just a few.

At the start of the 1968 racing season, Richard Petty had come off a truly incredible and record-setting season, with some of those records still standing today. However, he didn't plan on some of the challenges he would face with the totally redesigned Plymouth B-body design. For some odd-ball reason, his new race cars came with vinyl roofs. I do believe the theory was that it would improve aerodynamics and air-flow over the car. Unfortunately, it didn't - in fact, the vinyl started peeling off at high speeds slowing the car down. Petty realized that his pit crew would never have the time to remove all the vinyl during the race, never mind a pit stop, Petty himself resulted to a simple remedy with a hammer and duct tape. He ended up hammering the crap out of the roof so it was bent downwards from the windshield, then taped the daylights out of it. It worked. That, my friends, was when racing was truly racing...

Speaking of windshields, back in the early days of automobiles, before seat belts and airbags were part of the package, one of the biggest dangers was injury from shards of shattered windshield glass. We can thank French artist and chemist Édouard Bénédictus for accidentally stumbling upon the invention of laminated glass, also known as safety glass. While in his lab, a glass flask dropped and broke but didn’t shatter, Bénédictus realized that the interior was coated with plastic cellulose nitrate that held the now-harmless broken pieces together. He applied for a patent in 1909 with a vision of increasing the safety of cars, but manufacturers rejected the idea to keep costs down. However, the glass became standard for gas mask lenses in World War I. With its success on the battle field, the automobile industry finally ceded and by the 1930s most cars were equipped with glass that didn’t splinter into jagged pieces upon impact.

I was reading an article this morning about a body shop, who's company name no one can remember, but many people remember the truck they did back in the 60's. It was (and still is) a 1941 Willys pickup known today as "Strip Tripper". The problem was the paint job was so intricate - and damn expensive - that the owner couldn't afford to pay for it once the job was completed. Rather than write it off as a huge loss, the body shop recouped their money by simply renting (yes, renting) the small-block Chevy as a race car to compete in the popular Gasser class. By some miracle, the truck has survived all these years with the paint, motor, and all its other components intact. It was beautifully restored a few years ago, and is still on the show circuit. (Photo courtesy of Street Rodder).

 I've got a two good ones when it comes to drag racing, which has always been at the fore-front of numerous new concepts - including photography. Just about everyone knows that selfies are nothing new. Guess what - neither are selfie sticks. I glanced at the front page of the local paper while at work the other day, and it showed a high school graduate taking a selfie of herself while using her selfie-stick right after she received her diploma. She was quoted in the paper, "she wanted to be innovative." Sorry - get in line. Photographers old enough to be her grandparents were already on this concept, minus the cell phone. Photo buffs are always on the lookout for that unique angle, lighting, or concept. Check the two photos - one of the 35mm camera setup on the front of a top fuel dragster (right) and the finished product (left). While the shot was taken by the driver and not during an actual competition run, it's way cool just the same.

The second example is of a photograph snapped by Bob McClurg. In this case, there was really
nothing innovative here - he just zigged, while everyone else zagged. The picture features the late "Wild Willie" Borsch and his Winged Express AA/FA Altered. The story goes is that Bob was standing on top of a ladder to try and capture a killer shot of the race. As the lights went down the starting line Christmas Tree, all hell broke loose for a few seconds. Willie's Altered hooked way hard to the right at the line almost taking out the tree. The problem now was, he was heading straight for the guardrail... and all the photographers. While everyone else dropped their equipment and ran like hell, Bob figured he would stay put. He says if he jumped off the ladder, he would probably break his leg anyways, so he figured he'd let Borsch do it.
Bob snapped his picture at the crucial time, but Borsch managed to get his rig under control barely tapping the guardrail. As a result, Bob and Wild Willie would go down in racing history. The picture of the Winged Express also reveals a great deal of simplicity, if one knows where to look. Note the cool chrome barrel-shaped Moon fuel tank dangerously unprotected right up front. Then notice the front axle ballast that is literally duct taped to the axle. Lastly, groove on the canopy wing on top of the roll cage - not only did it help top-end speed stability, but it also acted as an awning for the narcoleptic Borsch, who took cat naps during rounds! When he was due at the staging lanes, his crew would nudge the Altered (with Willie still in it) with their push truck. That would wake Borsch up fresh and raring to go!

Lastly, automotive manufacturers are always looking to come up with fresh ideas that won't break the bank. Back in the glory years of muscle cars, enthusiasts  as well as the general public expected models to be refreshed every year or two, and new options to be released along that same time line. In "Hey - what if we try this?" Chrysler simply looked at what hardcore enthusiasts did with their muscle cars after they purchased them. They noticed things like:

late 1969, Chrysler dropped an A-bomb on the high-performance buying public with their one year only specialty six-pack cars, an option on the Plymouth Roadrunner and the Dodge Super Bee. Again, the concept was,
 - Enthusiasts chucked the hubcaps and/or wheel covers,
 - Many street racers ditched the heavy stock steel hood and installed an aluminum hood, usually painted flat black with a large hood scoop,
 - They also modified the engine with a hotter cam and more carburetion.  
So that's exactly what Chrysler did. While the 440 magnum six pack engine, as well as the Roadrunner and Super Bee would stick around for a few more years, the unruly option package didn't. Still, in less than nine months, Dodge & Plymouth pumped out over 5,000 of these animals. No other performance car offered from the factory, in any point in history, offered this much performance hardware standard, at a truly bargain price, and looked this wild.

Until next time, keep it simple!
Dave