You Can't Fix Stupid

In this day in age, I'll probably offend someone, somewhere with the title of this weeks blog. But an article came across my radar on Thursday - the autonomous vehicle and the exploding financial markets they are creating. Like it or not people, I believe these vehicles will be a reality. There's already regulations & legislation being written for them out in California. Autonomous vehicles are nothing new - GM has been experimenting with the idea since the mid-50's, but could never make it work. I don't care how many employees at Google (or any other manufacturer) work on this type of death trap, they will never be able to program this rig for every possible scenario it will face. First off - I would not want to get into even a mild fender-bender with the bubble made by Google. The windshield is made of flexible plastic that bends to the touch. The hood and bumper are made of soft foam. A 10 mph hit will total this vehicle.

Now picture getting rear ended at say 40mph - you'll be automated all over the freeway. But the big hurdle companies are running into (no pun intended) is what happens in a scenario where there's a "no-win situation". For example, a dog suddenly runs out into the street in front of the vehicle. Since you are not driving, the vehicle has to think for itself. It will stop (or slow down) so it won't hit the dog. But in doing so, what if there's a 10-wheel truck behind you that hasn't seen the dog and has no clue your autonomous self is stopping suddenly? If your vehicle slows or stops for the dog, you'll get rear ended and without a doubt be killed. Taking it a step further, what if the car could be programmed in this case to swerve either to the left or the right? Well, to the left is oncoming traffic and to the right is a sidewalk with pedestrians on it. What does the car do? Are you the one who gets ultimately sacrificed because you were so hell-bent on buying one of these smart cars of the future? Google and other manufacturers have yet to even come close to some hard-core answers for situations like this. But the government is giving these cars the go-ahead anyways. Why? There is a multi-billion dollar untapped market with these types of vehicles, and many of the electronics corporations who are getting into bed with Google have field offices located in California.Apparently in the golden state, money buys everything...

On a more positive front, I read another article where there was a little-noticed provision in a new federal highway bill. The provision will allow low-volume aftermarket car-builders to offer complete cars for the first time. What companies like Factory 5 and Super Performance are faced with currently is that while they are licensed to sell the rolling chassis and bodies of Cobras, 33 Fords, 57 Chevy's, or what-have-you, they can't sell them with engines and/or the drivetrain. If they sold them complete, ready to run, they would have to meet the same crash test ratings and emission standards of today's vehicles. That will all change under this provision. Low volume car builders can make up to 5,000 copies per year, but replica vehicles will not have to meet modern crash-test safety standards (and will eliminate such things as mandatory traction control, passenger sensing air bags, and numerous other items) that would cost tens of millions of dollars in engineering expense. The age of the bodies being manufactured was also lessened - anything 25 years or older.

Taking a squint (and pokes) at more government legislation, we'll finish this topic with two laws that are still technically on the books, but I hope are never enforced: In Waynesboro Virginia, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of her waving a red flag. The 2nd piece of insanity is in Pennsylvania; If any motorist driving along a country road at night comes across farming livestock (like horses and cows) that are on the road, they must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and then continue. In addition, any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass.In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner must take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes.

Enough of government legislation - moving forward... or in this case backwards... or maybe we'll just leave it in the stupid gear. NASCAR has had plenty of stupid moments throughout its lifespan, but one of the worst "...can't fix that with a roll duct tape" moments came at Winston - Charlotte in 1989. That was the race where Darrell Waltrip had dominated the entire event. But just before the last lap white flag, coming out of turn four, Rusty Wallace literally crawled up Waltrip's bumper. In a move that today Wallace said was incredibly stupid, he blatantly ran into Waltrip hard enough to spin him out. The caution flag came out before either Waltrip or Wallace made it to the line to signal the start of the final lap, so NASCAR officials restarted the race with one lap to go. For some oddball reason, Wallace started up front, and Waltrip started in last place. As expected, Wallace won the race - but as he drove to victory lane, he was barraged with beer cans, boos, middle fingers and who knows what else. After Waltrip finished the race and interviewers shoved microphones in his face, he shared his infamous statement; "I hope Wallace chokes on that 200 grand."

On that note, we'll quit while we're behind...
Until next time, peace out.
Dave